Some even wait until the second trimester when the risk of a miscarriage is lower. While some people are okay with announcing the pregnancy on the get go, some are more comfortable waiting until a doctor confirms the pregnancy. You will be going through this moment together, so it’s best to let them know right away.īut for the rest, including your family and close friends, it’s completely alright to wait. You may want to tell your partner, though, if you haven’t yet. It is totally possible and normal to want to keep the news to yourself.
You may not know where to begin! After all, so many changes are happening in your body now and you are beginning to grow your little person inside you. Getting pregnant, especially if it is your first time, can feel overwhelming. And just like winning the lottery, you want to tell your family, your friends, and the whole world about your pregnancy! She has two adult daughters.For many couples who are excited to start a family, a positive sign on the pregnancy test is almost as good as – or maybe even better than – a winning lottery ticket. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Bergman’s is the author of the book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019) as well as the children's book You Began as a Wish (Independent Press 2019). Along with co-authors, she published “Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood” (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council. She is the co-owner of Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for intended parents, surrogates and donors. Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 26 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for over two decades. This announcement is just the first of many new decisions that you’ll need to make from the heart. You’ll need to balance your desires for privacy, support, and inclusion as you decide when you want to share.
The right time for one parent may not be ideal at all for another. What is important to remember is that there is no singular “right” time to share your pregnancy news. This choice is made for a variety of personal reasons, and a late reveal is an option uniquely available to parents through surrogacy. Waiting Until the Third Trimester or Birthįinally, some parents choose to wait to share the news of their pregnancy until late in the third trimester or even until after the birth. Intended parents in this category generally feel as though withholding the news of a pregnancy until it appears to be viable provides them a safety net in the unfortunate event of a first-trimester miscarriage. Many parents-to-be may also wait until after the first-trimester screening is complete. Many intended parents wait until the twelfth week of pregnancy to share their pregnancy news, as the rate of miscarriage drops dramatically from this point on. Some intended parents feel that sharing the news of a positive pregnancy test early allows friends and family to share in their initial excitement and provides them with support and empathy from those around them. It can be hard to keep such happy news a secret, especially when the road to pregnancy for most intended parents has been such a long one. There are a few different approaches intended parents take when sharing their big news. Intended parents may also feel nervous or stressed about sharing their news because they aren’t sure how others around them will react. When you’re becoming a parent through surrogacy, sometimes this announcement takes on new levels of planning. The choice of when to share your pregnancy news with those around you is a moment so many parents-to-be dream about for years.
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When & How to Announce Baby News When Using IVF